How to talk to Anyone - Bib Notes

Source

• a smile can make the difference in whether or not you win someone over
• steady eye contact to gain respect and affection
• greet someone the first time like they were an old friend - with a warm smile and body full toward them (indicated undivided attention)
• highlight commonalities you have
• drop “ums” and use empathizers instead - like:
  • “That was the right thing to do”
  • “I see why you did that”
• adopt the powerful words we and us
  • convert “What do you think about the new mayor?” to ”How do you think we’ll do with the new mayor?”
• give praise indirectly e.g. by having a third party delivering it
  • if directly then include it in a casual remark
  • better to praise immediately
• enrich your vocabulary
• have some relevant quotations handy (so capture more quotes in Obisidan)
• have a strong entrance: Before entering, pause at the doorway and give the room a scan.
• Gestures: adopt and open and inviting posture with your palms facing outward

Introduction

• a smooth introduction gets a good conversation going
• request if from a friend or host
• have an icebreaker that makes it easy for people to get in contact with you. E.g. A special wearable
• make introductions with including one/two interesting facts
• observe how they are speaking and responding and how their gestures look like … and do the same (connected with pacing and building rapport)
• be confident in what you say and engage with a positive attitude
• know who in the group has a great story and give that person a proper introduction

Small talk

• prepare for inevitable questions:
  • Where are you from?
  • What do you do?
• embed an interesting fact or anecdote in your answer
• be a good listener and put the spotlight on your partner
  • e.g. by repeating the last thing they said (reminds me off active listening and paraphrasing)
• avoid: revealing a secret unless the person is already impressed by you

In relationships

• be patient and allow them to complain and get out of their system
• don’t leave a conversation hanging
• sometimes things are best left unsaid
• consider the art of favor
  • don’t ask someone to drop everything right now to do you a favor right now
  • don’t ask immediately for something in return (reminds me of Give-give-get from [[Your Network Is Your Net Worth]])
  • be thankful and appreciative

Sounding professional

• cut to the chase and be direct (connect to time to attention)
• tell the client what you do for them (instead of just mentioning your job title)
• reveal commonalities naturally embedded in a conversation
• avoid cliches
• Instead of asking “What do you do?” ask “How do you spend most of your time?”
• separate business and leisure
  • no business before dessert is finished
  • on parties - keep is light and make a separate appointment for more serious discussions
• be transparent about how you and the client benefit
• be the first one to applaud or speak up

Prepare for meetings

• bush up your business jargon
• picture yourself smiling, making eye contact and practicing positive body language

Phone skills

• instead of nodding do “I’m so happy to hear that”, “Please continue”
• use their name more frequently
• ask if it is a good time to talk

Avoid

• touching your face when you talk - it makes you seem less credible

Linking

• related book [[Your Network Is Your Net Worth]]
• [[How To Talk To Anyone 92 Little Tricks - By - Leil Lowndes]]

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